Abstinence Programs Don’t Work But Teaching Kids About Fisting Is Sexy

Well apparently some losers are annoyed that the new Health Care fuck up Bill has money going towards abstinence programs.  Um…  Why are you angry?  Well you see because they say these programs apparently don’t work.  Really, because all the other programs we have don’t seem to stop 15 year olds from getting pregnant, herpes or fucking their teachers so what is the fucking problem here?  Really abstinence doesn’t work?  Telling kids if they don’t fuck they can’t get an STD or get pregnant isn’t the truth, because last time I checked you don’t get a lot of babies and AIDS by sitting at home and watching M.A.S.H. reruns. Even if Alan Alda jumps out of your TV it’s not like that liberal douche can do a lot of damage.  Give the fucker a martini and spray him with water like he was a cat and he will leave you alone.  Look the best way not to get pregnant or an STD is by not fucking, it’s not rocket science fuckheads.  You can even make it part of a larger curriculum where you tell kids about safe sex, or more like safer sex and let them know the real risks of the other things.  Plus when asshats say abstinence doesn’t work they are lying.  Abstinence works every time you use it, the time people claim it doesn’t work is when it wasn’t used.  You see abstinence  is not having sex, so if you are having sex it means you aren’t doing the abstinence thing, it’s wasn’t abstinence that didn’t work it was the failure to not have sex.  The sad thing is the liberal fuckwads that claim abstinence doesn’t work and that it is pointless to talk about are the same shitheals that try to teach children about “fisting” and the joys of anal sex in a Sex Ed class and think that is appropriate things to talk about in a room full of 12 year old kids.   Yes because abstinence is evil but an adult explaining to a child the concept of fisting isn’t?  Did we hire NAMBLA to run the Sex Ed. classes in the public schools or something?

Really they don’t give a shit about safe sex.  The more kids that get pregnant the more ammo the Abortion Lobby has to keep their Murder Farms in operation.  Not only that but if a kid does slip though the Baby Murder Factories grasp there is a really good chance that the kid and his mother will spend years on welfare and thus add to the Democratic voting base.  I’m amazed Planned Parenthood doesn’t just show up at the public schools every day to personally rape every ovulating girl there just to increase their profits.  It sounds bad but I’m sure they would give each victim one of those witty “I Had An Abortion” t-shits that are so popular with the kiddy murder crowd.

Did you know that you could actually get rid of every STD on the entire planet?  You can and you don’t even need to use any form of medication to do it.  That’s right fucks, you can cure every single STD without medication.  This isn’t some bullshit pseudo-science or crazy “I love my tin foil hat” thing.  It is A medical reality that we can get rid of every singe STD on the planet and it wouldn’t even cost anyone anything.  It’s free, you like free shit, we all like free shit.  You want to know how to do it?

STOP FUCKING PEOPLE WITH SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASES!

It’s that fucking simple.  If you don’t fuck someone with syphilis you will not get syphilis. It’s not like the Syphilis Monster is just hanging out in your closet just waiting till you aren’t looking to jump you. And this works for everything, AIDS, Herpes and even Chlamydia (or as I like to call it  “French People”).  Now some of you might be thinking -while drooling on yourselves and jerking off to Nancy Pelosi and 2 Girls 1 Cup – “But Mr. Llama how do I know if a person has an STD?”  Well let me take another swig of scotch and tell you.  Do you want to know what to do? If you do not know if they do not have an STD just don’t fuck them, it’s that fucking simple.  Unless you know for a fact they are clean JUST DON’T FUCK THAT PERSON!    Seriously, how fucking hard is it for you stupid cockgobbling shit licking crack babies to figure this shit out?

I think I stole some of this from an old post from T. at Letters To A Dying Dream.  But Fuck him, what’s he going to do to me?  Seriously I have more guns than he does and that is almost impossible to do.

 

Llama out bitches.